If you have not had sex for a long time: Some people find it hard to believe in this, but there are plenty of women who do not know how to return to Big Sex after a break. We hope you are not one of them, but still we offer you to read this article. Well, you never know what.
The problem, as you know, is serious and at the same time widespread, so we asked to help her to understand the experts of intimate business.
I will begin my story, perhaps so. Once upon a time there was one nice woman. Well, like us with you. Everything she had by modern standards is not bad. The beloved man is almost a Greek god, work, salary, get-togethers, friends and hot sex regularly. And then – time! – at one point life changed. Almost God suddenly showed a pork muzzle, took the best friend of the heroine of the story under the pen and left in the night with the words: “You are to blame for everything!”.
Of course, everything could and not so beautifully happen, as I came up with. For example, a sweet woman and her man did not meet with characters, hastily parted, and our heroine was left alone. Not that in the snot and tears, but in a state that is perfectly far from the love of others. In such a way that looking at people (especially the opposite sex) is sickening.
It’s familiar, is not it? It’s the same in 18 years it seemed that after parting with Sasha you can kiss at the disco with Andrew, and the sadness will pass (and in general, Sasha will crawl! He will regret it!). At an older age you understand that not all of the Andrews are equally useful. Simply put, not everyone is ready to rush into a new relationship after a break-the mood, you know, is not it. And the longer this is the “wrong”, the more chances to get the problem that the unfortunate women have repeatedly voiced in the women’s forums: “I do not know how to start having sex!” And that’s what the reasons for the alarms are voiced by the ladies.
1. I lost my sex
No, except for jokes. I myself read on one of the forums mentioned. So the woman wrote: “How do I imagine that we are alone, he turns off the light … And then what? Take off your panties or do not shoot? Him or yourself? What if I do something wrong? For years, I’m not sixteen, I’ll laugh. ”
She echoes another: “I once met in a club with a man (I will not lie, I was a podshofe), fearlessly came to him for the night of love, and at the last moment remembered that I have an intimate haircut model” bush “! I barely fought off, I went home. And then I think, maybe in vain? Maybe nothing terrible? I really do not remember how in our time it’s fashionable. ” To some, such situations may seem comical, but not to me. It is possible, of course, to console poor people with trivial “skill you will not spend on drink”, but it hardly will work. Let’s see what the professionals will say.
“What’s the problem? – Yuri Prokopenko is surprised. “What, is there a common standard?” Tell me, otherwise I do not know anything about it. But seriously, do what you want and know how. Or at least what you want. Love yourself – and love you. In addition, do not decide for a man: what he likes, and what ever. And what if “bush” is his favorite design of a woman? And suddenly he will be happy if the grown-up lady with him is afraid and will behave clumsily? If he is confident in himself, he will consider that she is frightened of him, and even more passionate. And anyway, to be perfect means boring and predictable. Be original (and under this brand the way it is). ”
“The girls forget that the presenter is both a man and a man in dance and sex. After all, this removes the responsibility for “piloting” in bed. It is enough to be natural and affectionate. Do not try to hit with acrobatics or an intimate haircut. Tenderness and compliments smooth out any nuances. ”
2. To be engaged in sex has bothered
One of my friends after the divorce so hated the gentlemen that she preferred the ladies. True, not for long. After a while she sadly stated: “Still, you know, in us, women, too little good …” Having said so, a friend decided to leave sex and found herself in sports.
Of course, this zeal in the field of HLS is pleasant to our journal. But here’s the trouble: sex, we are also not indifferent. Therefore, when my friend switched to a seven-day visit to the gym, I trembled. “You understand, I’m reluctant to seek a partner! She explained her behavior. – Fitness is much safer and more useful. In addition, sex I may not like, in contrast to a good workout. What have I not seen in sex? “. Hearing this, I grabbed my head. On the one hand, maybe a girlfriend is right? Maybe we should recognize the victory of the sport on all fronts? Or does she risk health by giving up sex?
“Actually, sex and fitness are not competitors,” Yuri says. – You can not beat a healthy drive by any sport: the hormones will not go anywhere. But this is a good excuse. In fact, the explanation of the girlfriend sounds like this: “I’m so afraid of these guys that at least for anything I grab. Evaluation of a man worries me – but what if I really went into circulation? “The risk of abstinence is a relative term: if there is no real sex without sex, there can be complications for the body and nerves.
And if you do not pull, then there will be no harm. ” Eugene adds: “A girl may need psychotherapy. I often have patients who at the first reception say: “Guys are all bad.” And, only realizing their mistakes, ladies find happiness. If you take a gynecological aspect, it is enough to mention the term “monastic disease”. Gynecologists have long noticed that the absence of sexual life often leads to myomea. ”
3. Have sex scared
After a long break and the bike to sit down terribly, although some argue that this skill can not be lost. It is clear that undressing before an unfamiliar uncle, let alone letting him into his life is more terrible at times. And if for some this temporary difficulty, then for others – horror, horror and once again he.
According to VTsIOM (2012), 43% of world consider it necessary for happiness to have a full sexual life
“Firstly, my charms are no longer charming,” complains a friend who crossed out sex from life for a year and a half. – Secondly, as I think, that again I’ll get stuck in some hellish, traumatic relationship, takes it in a hurry. I’d better get a dog. She is silent. ” Strange to hear this from a man slightly over 30. As scary, but this opinion is not singular. And if it goes on like this, then what? Will we die out or hope for the miracles of evolution and possible budding?
“It looks like subdepression,” Eugene notes. – Decreased self-esteem, the initial attitude to failure. Asthenia is possible. It’s time for a lady to go for a month to a sanatorium with an evening entertainment program. ” “Here again: a friend is afraid of herself, of the fact that she does not know how to build a life with men,” Yuri Prokopenko complains. – “Again” – a clear sign that she meets the same rake and does not learn anything. Maybe she really does not spoil the gene pool with the same unintelligible descendants? Although in a few years the craving for motherhood will become stronger than fear of failure – and time is running out … “.
Why do not we want to have sex again?
“Having a harmonious sexual relationship literally prolongs life, improving its quality,” Yevgeny believes. “Love is hard to find, but it’s worth it.” With all the disappointments. A specialist can help you see yourself from the outside and reduce the percentage of errors, speeding up and optimizing the search. Periods without sexual relations are. This is normal. But only in those cases when it comes to weeks and months, not years. It is important to start a sexual life with someone you trust. ”
“To frighten yourself is a favorite occupation for many, regardless of gender, age and religion,” Yuriy concludes. – And to deceive myself is the sweetest thing. All described characters are not afraid of sex, and not men – they are afraid of themselves. That they will not be able to be an ideal that they will not find a serene happiness immediately and forever, that they will have to worry again and all for nothing. In order not to make the same mistakes, you need to change yourself and your attitude to the world and men.
But as? Here and forces are needed, and time, and, most importantly, determination. The determination to die like this – to resurrect another. And this is the worst thing: what if the new one does not work out, and I will not be the same again? I’d better sit here, in a corner. The corner is bad, I agree, but changing it is even worse. So those who are afraid of this can not resume the intimacy, and not those who have forgotten something. Change the starting point – and life will change dramatically. Good Luck! “